Acceptance and Gratitude: Moving on to the Next Chapter
A column contributed by Mrs Tracey Woon, Yeo Boon Khim Mind Science Centre Management Board member.
Life is filled with chances, coincidences, and opportunities. More often than not, it doesn’t go the way you expect. In a letter to my 26-year-old self, I wrote, “Young, curious, driven to want to learn, experience and achieve more, you will not be afraid to step into the unknown.”
Throughout my life, I chanced upon various opportunities, took on new challenges, and scaled heights I didn’t even know existed. The hopeful electrical engineer followed her parents’ wishes and majored in law. That law major became a 5-time national squash champion. She ended up by chance in banking and for the next three decades gave her all to that industry. Up to that point, it was never too hard to accept changes.
When I had to let go of squash, it was surprisingly easy, easier at least. The new rising star was catching up, it was quite clear that I no longer had a strong hold of that gold. So, I let it go, and moved on to the next chapter of my life. It was a bittersweet moment, but I know it was time for a new adventure.
Letting go of my regular, full-time job, however, felt different. Even now I detest the word “retire”. You will hear my family incessantly saying, ‘she is even busier than before she retired!’.
My “retirement” took almost 10 years to materialise. There were countless false starts, and it was a learning process, marked by deep introspection and a determination to redefine my purpose. I was concerned that people would ask if I’d lost my job, if I was forced to retire. The younger me lived by the principle that the formula to success was to work hard (and smart), and to be very good at what you do. You can only reap what you sow, and “it is never about winning the silver, it is about losing the gold”. After all, it was the drive for perfection and excellence that what got me to where I was.
Understanding impermanence and feeling ready to embrace the shedding of titles that have defined me, of abandoning old responsibilities and routine was exciting, even a little scary but nonetheless irresistibly exciting. Retirement is not about ceasing activity, but rather, embarking on a new chapter!
As Roger Federer mentioned in his commencement address at Dartmouth, “you wouldn’t say you retire from college… like you, I finished one big thing and am moving on to the next.”
It has been four years since that fateful day in August 2020, and I have been, and still am on this wonderful journey of discovering myself and my purpose.
When I first started taking on roles, I felt fake. I questioned myself, “are you doing it because everyone tells or expects you to? Is it just for your ego? Is there the old Tracey still clinging on to some past?”
But I slowly came to accept that this is how I can best contribute; with my skills and knowledge. Not everybody has the financial ability to support a cause, not everybody is passionate about delivering food, and not everybody is good at helping in a hospice. It is a process of being comfortable in your own skin, accepting how you want to contribute, and not one is less than the other.
My definition of success was reformed to focus on living this new chapter doing things that are meaningful to me and would bring me joy. So, I began to focus my energy on giving back to 3 buckets:
- Singapore, my country;
- The industry I grew up in and benefited from: finance;
- Areas I am passionate about: mentoring (especially young women and students), mental health and healthcare.
And whilst all of the above give me great joy and purpose, spending time with good friends, being in nature, on retreats, with amazing teachers, pursuing inner transformation for outer change, doing yoga, working out, playing table tennis, listening to audiobooks, singing, playing Hanabi with my son and husband, having meals and wonderful conversations with family, cuddling my dogs, and (most importantly) alone in my own company, top it all.
To those who are nearing the end of their careers, let me offer this advice: do not be afraid to embrace the unknown. Your journey does not end when you retire; it simply takes a new direction. Now that you have all the time and are in control of it, what do you want to do that would make you happy, bring you joy, where you can contribute and give back in your own way. Be open to the unexpected opportunities that may come.
As I continue to explore this chapter of my life, I’m reminded that the most fulfilling journeys are often the ones we least expect. One line to end this reflection: embrace change, stay curious, have gratitude, look forward to live, and find joy, meaning, and purpose at every stage of life. You are answerable only to yourself- enjoy the journey!
This article was contributed by Mrs Tracey Woon, member of Yeo Boon Khim Mind Science Centre Management Board.